i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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