We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
