Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
