Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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