You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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