At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
