i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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