So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
