i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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