I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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