You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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