We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
