He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
