I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize