You work out of a Hotel?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is wine microwaveable?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
