Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
