A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
