yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do herpes really smell.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
