Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
