i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
