I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
