no, he came in my armpit
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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