doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
