READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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