My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
