I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
