this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
being pregnant is like rehab
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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