worst night to have a conscience
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He shit in the fireplace
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
