maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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