awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
