I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.