I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come