Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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  (703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts http://tfl.nu/gdmu
  Replies (13) Good night (2699) Bad night (655)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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  (651): The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count. http://tfl.nu/0nix
  Replies (34) Good night (822) Bad night (4400)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though

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  (509): Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though http://tfl.nu/7ly3
  Replies (19) Good night (6101) Bad night (1128)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.

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  (240): I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards. http://tfl.nu/evpw
  Replies (17) Good night (1576) Bad night (5150)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7777) Bad night (871)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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  (703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc
  Replies (19) Good night (6104) Bad night (1381)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.

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  (732): just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night. http://tfl.nu/zm02
  Replies (4) Good night (2951) Bad night (812)
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  (707): View more from California

  My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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  (707): My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her http://tfl.nu/qrm1
  Replies (10) Good night (2237) Bad night (710)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?

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  (402): Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this? http://tfl.nu/pyyb
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (608)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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  (703): You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial." http://tfl.nu/ubhg
  Replies (3) Good night (1608) Bad night (793)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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  (972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92
  Replies (8) Good night (1727) Bad night (596)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.

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  (517): I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT. http://tfl.nu/j08n
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (399)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.

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  (970): He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER. http://tfl.nu/32pn
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (662)
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  (707): View more from California

  Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa

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  (707): Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa http://tfl.nu/616r
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (324)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.

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  (864): He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal. http://tfl.nu/lm83
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (484)

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