I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
