Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize