Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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