if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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