Kiss
Puke
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
