Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
