Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
