whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
