you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
