Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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