Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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