So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
