He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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