I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
