omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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