you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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