Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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