I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
