I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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