He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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