I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
