you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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