just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
