yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
