Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
