I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
