Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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