It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
